Way towards Nobelty is an story of a man, his explorations all the way from illusion to reality, facing d reality, acceptance, obligations, understanding, love etc. This article is by a man for other men, women can read it but men can learn, and if they like it, they can follow it, many might be already on the same way, so that will be good, but if someone has a true heart and never thought in this way, then can learn them.
Couple of years back (may be around 3-4 years), I found a bollywood girl “ I won’t take her name, she is an actress” unlike millions of her other fans who just like them coz. She is a super star, young and dashing lady, I found her Media is trying to relating her with few of other male stars and every time she was trying to explain that there is nothing as such now who was true, if u observe both for sometime u can understand it and in matter of few months, I found that they are relating her from someone else etc..and every time she was clarifying for d same. I found a girl is fighting with d world. I started liking her in that way as what about those girls who does know how to fight with world, so accept a girl who had seen life, fought with life etc. and proved her, I searched her in facebook found her fans page I followed that for few months, used to comment, but there were no response from her side for those months, then I decided to turn back in my life and suddenly one day, one of her admin liked many of my comments for these all months, I found some positive response from her end and it went on, I was following her profile and here a story of illusion- brain games ( many might had watched an Hollywood movie “A Beautiful Mind” something like that) began, I started taking things positively , after sometime I became friend with her admin chatted with her for sometime also and happening over the net I started taking them positively and was thinking she is none other that bollywood girl and at the same also used to think may be her admin also..but coz of my shy nature I could not ask her directly.
In the meantime one more girl became my facebook friend from a different city in south india. She liked my first article “Jindagi Ek Paheli” and followed me in facebook, we became friends, she did not put her actual pic on her profile any ways we chanted for sometime and coz. Of my illusions things at time I used to suspect may be she is that bollywood girl as she is an star today so she can not come in front directly so she is chatting with me from different profile. In those days I needed a girl in my life as I was often with girls around, yes never had any wrong practice just as friends but in those days after coming to Mumbai, I had drought in my life, lots of happening here and there negatives and worst and even worst so I needed someone to share my emotions I needed someone to hold my hand and will get the strength to fight with the whole world, In fact I wanted to have someone in my life I wanted to explore what happen if a girl come in life, what all physical changes, mentally changes happen in me, how do I respond to situations etc..etc..in fact I never told “I love u” to any girl before was a virgin till 24 year, so wanted to explore a lot and finally I told “I love u” to her as off course who was chatting with me, who was interested in me, I knew that she is liking me, so expected d same and same happened also. Yes, still the illusions things were there in mind, may be she is that bollywood girl, or may be she is her admin or may be she is a different girl. And one day I decided to meet her, so on my 24 th birthday, during navratri I went to meet her, we met, all my illusions were vanished, everything was clear, it was entirely a different person. I did not wanted to break her heart coz. Of my illusions as she was honest to me. Though she was not very fair, she was an average fair girl, about confidence also I did not find her confident, she was not able to comprehend what she says, proves lacking confidence, she had communication problem with me as her hindi accent has lots of south Indian accent, so many time I was not understanding but I told to her, no probs. May be six. Months down d line, either u will start better hindi or I will start understanding her language, so try to work out this relation.
I accepted her thinking we often think of getting someone better and try to ignore those who is less fortunate than us, the only good thing I found her innocent nature, a laughing doll type nature, which in fact I seen that in my eldest sister too, who was very innocent but had lots of issues to get her married as she was not very fair. I told to myself, I will train her everything. About communication, about personality that part of wearing the kind of cloths, way to talk, way u act, way u walk and lots more thing which can be taught, about fairness, she was an average fair girl, and rest will be covered once she will get married after sexual life, after getting love from husband hormones start secreting from body which would make her more fair and rest I belong to fashion industry so it won’t be much difficult for me to make things perfect.
We continued our relations speaking over the phone daily for 5-30 to 40 minutes. A very important words I told to her to work this relation we need “understating” and “love” . we started sharing each and everything so that she should know what is happening with me in fact my life is totally black and white, nothing was there to hide anything in fact she also promised to tell me everything and not to lie anything, we became good friends in that way, why I used d word friend here often we share things with our friends and tend to hide it from someone whom we don’t think close so instead of putting responsibility on each other shoulder why not be a friend first. In fact this concept can work in any married life also, husband wife should be a good friend first, they should be transparent to each other if anything wrong in between then it can not grow well. In this course of action, one day she told me, that when she was 12 years old, she had some child abusing instance, once with an neighbour uncle who used to call kids to give chocolate and one day, he tried for wrong practice but she was fortunate enough so before any wrong could happen, she ran away, once with her cousin when she was travelling to some place all kids were sitting behind and parents were sitting in front of vehicle all d kids were playing and once everyone slept a boy was touching her, that time she was not even knowing what is this which is happening with her, now she know what he was doing, few time with a boy in her tution who just used to come behind her when she was leave her tution class and used to start touching her stomach, from inside her clothes, again this time also she was not knowing what this boy was doing, but she realized there is something wrong, she asked one of her friend and she said what it is and after that she used to leave with one more girl while leaving her tution class and he did not dare to do that again. And in few instances, some lesbian girls in her class with whom she used to sit, used to touch her, again she did not realize why these girls r doing such things coz. no one told/educated her what it is, how can u protect etc. but today she know what it was.
Yes, as like any other men, it was not easy for me to digest such things, as ur women is touched by someone else also. But I did not let her know about that, I knew that life will not be easy tomorrow so be ready for everything. Now it was time to take the responsibility as it was not her mistake or not even that, then also it was my responsibility to save the relation instead of reacting in un-expectedly, and spoiling everything that we had in between. We need to behave in a very matured way, if u need to be silent for sometime be silent and after sometime u may feel d energy to be positive for d same situation. In fact if she shared such thing as an friend, so even its our responsibility to understand her situation and help her to recover any such trauma.
Then in another instances we met around 5 times in this last two years relation each with a gap of 3-4 months. We explored our sexual life also like any other couple, first time I lost my virginity in order to explore what it is, as like many of other exploration after having sex for first time I found that for men, d moment of ejaculation is d best moment, no matter whether u r ejaculating by masturbating or ejaculate it by sex with an women, rest all r possibly d natural magnetism between male and female which bring them close to each other and they end up having sex to expand their generation, give birth to a child etc. Yes I like her words when she say “laddu mujhen bahut accha lag raha hein with all her love ( she calls me laddu may be she picked her from mujhse dosti karogi movie, she is kind of fan of kareena).
I realized that for me it was a part of exploration but being an Indian girl it was everything for her, so again there were no other ways, I could think to cheat with her, once I am done with my explorations or like many other boy who think slept with his girl already now why to get married, thinking lots of things from here and there like a girl who can sleep with u before marriage who can sleep with anyone else etc..etc. and moving out of d relation spoiling d girls life, after which lost her faith from believing anyone from her heart, so my dear men friend, if u realize these things, possibly we can give a better life to many girls life.
In another instances, as I discussed about sex once after our sex her period delayed, she was little scared, what if she gets pregnant, I gave her confidence again, saying don’t worry, if that happen, if u want to get abortion, u can do it or else if u want to deliver the baby then also when ur parents will ask you, who is kids dad, I will come and stand with you before it could leak out to society and points their finger towards you or ur family, I will come and stand with you, why to worry, I am running anywhere ? Gave her confidence, she was relaxed, and after few days, her period started. Why I shared this instance, it happens with many people when u r suppose to stand with your partner, u just ran away from taking responsibility, what big thing in that, but people do that, but if u get a lesion from this possibly many women doesn’t has to put their kids in the stairs of temple etc.
In another instance, we talked about our marriage to her parents, as like many other typical religious parent who doesn’t want to get their daughter married out of their tradition, language, who r against love marriage etc. they opposed our relation. Irrespective of knowing what their daughter choice is how d men is etc. at time even I also planned to bring her here if they try to force her, that time I got very important message “ that if I bring her here then my responsibility will increase it will not be just like an husband, I need to be her mom, dad, brother, sister everything as everyone is important in life and have their place in life. “ Why I shared this thought, coz many of couple get love marriage without their parents and after sometime they don’t realize many things which r important in life to make running smooth and finally they end up quarreling, fighting with each other etc. and spoil their relation. So my dear friends, getting married is also not difficult but to maintain that marriage is not just play of child it needs lots of understanding, huge sense of responsibility and of course love.
In another instance, as I am talking about her parents were against our marriage and in one instance her mom ask her what if anything happen to ur dad if u move out of this home leaving her here as he is soft heart person. Next day, from her collage she called me, as were not allowing her to talk to me from their home, she asked me the same question what I should do ? I replied her, it should be ur decision, as its ur life, u should know what u want from ur life, she u spend her life with any men of her parents choice in order to respect them? She said, no I can not live with anyone else apart from u, so I told, so d answer is with you only. When u can not live her life without me, then she should not get married to anyone else, but if she think in order to respect her parent she can get married to a man of their own choice then she is free to move out of this relation as she is coming in my life, she has to be come from her heart coz if she has any thought like she was wrong, she shouldn’t have had gone against her parents then this things can not lead us to live our life happily. She got d answer, then about if anything happened to her dad, I gave her Bhagwat Gita’s updesh, I told “mritun sansar ka atal niyam, hein, koin aaj marega, koi kal, koi parso, hon sakta hein, ki kal ko wo pani piten waqt pani unke galen mein atak jayen aur sasen rukh jayen, aur ye bhi ho sakta hein ki wo aglen 30-40 saal ji jayen. Agen Krishna kahetein hein ye sabhi prani toh pahlen sen hi maren huyen hein koin meren daton mein fasen huyen hein, koin meren jabdon mein, tut toh bas ek jariya ban jayega..so hey parth tu bas apna karm kar, bhavnaon ke adheen na hon…so in this context agar tum prem karti hon aur apni kartavya nibhana chati hon toh karm kar, bhavnaon ke adheen mat hon….She got another answer to a difficult situation. Now the reason why I shared this with you coz many might get frustrated and try to get their girl or boy forcefully as they had shared some emotions with her/him and dreamt few things together, so my dear friends, try to understand what ur partners feeling is, let him/her come from heart then only u can be happy or else u can not be happy u u try to get them forcefully as feeling can not be driven forcefully so love can not be found forcefully it was to from within, inside, has to be from the heart.
In fact I am open today, we can get married or not don’t know, whether she will get me or not, don’t know but I will still be d same person, ready to accept situations, which r driven from heart.
I am done, sharing my personal experience, explorations now if you think u learnt something today and these things can be helpful for u, to lead a happy and peaceful life then can implement some of these things in ur life and see d changes that u find in ur life. A very important keyword “Understanding, another Love with only love u can not live, as days can be good or bad both and u will have to understand each other and stand together to face them, and with thing with only understanding without love u will not have d chemistry, rhythm, music of life. Another important thing, god has not made anyone 100% perfect they made some mastermind, someone fair, someone stronger physically, someone good at something else and in same way, and someone at something else so try to work out a relation u agreed on first, try to take responsibility of ur end ,coz when u know d weakness of ur partner and try to find them in other woman or man u may find which she/he lack but even d other person will also be week at some other thing, so try to be happy with what u have and try to work out d relation as far as u can do, but in spite of this still things r not shorted then “Jindagi Milegi Na Dobara”, yes follow that movies lesion.