What is Marriage? Let us understand it step by step from its evolution to marriage in 21st Century.
I am going to start it saying, we are also an organism like all other organism on planet earth. And as all other organism is born inherited with “Reproductive qualities” for continuity of their species, we are also inherited with same quality.
But when we compare us with other organism, we find that our biology is different than other organism. Suppose if I talk about Cow, it give birth to a child in the morning and till afternoon it stand on its own feet, for few months it will drink mother’s milk and then start eating grasses, and its almost the same with most of other organism, that their children mature fast to become adults.
However, our kids need 11 months to stand for the first time, 2 years to start speaking and at least 8-10 years to grow little healthy, so that they can try to arrange their own food (if I don’t consider, modern society, where one need to study 15-20 years to get a job, to survive in the money system) by hunting or collect fruits or get vegetables etc. like our ancestors.
So, unlike other organism, where their children grow fast, our children need 8-10 years to grow. And as we see in other organism also, the mother stay with their child and trains them until they are capable of arranging their own food, our women also take care of their babies until they can arrange their own food. And even if I don’t consider modern society pattern, still she has to look after her child for 8-10 years, which is really a long time.
This was the reason our early women might felt the need to have at least someone who would help her to look after her child. And I am sure, it might took 100s or 1000s of years for them to come to a conclusion, who that person be who will help her to look after the child. Finally they might felt, why not the father of the child, who is equally responsible for birth of the child, as the mother is. They might felt, Emotionally no one else can care the child more than the father and mother as the child is through them.
So, whatever they called it, in initial days, as we now call it – Marriage, निकाह , शादी in different languages and religions. This way, they might decided to live together and with time it became tradition.
So, the soul purpose of marriage was to take care of the baby born through them. But to take care of the baby also needed at least 8-10 years which was quite a long time, and living together for such long time was also challenging with a person who don’t like them and was easy with the person who like them.
Those days, they might felt the need to choose the person they want to live with, so they might tried to find someone with whom they could connect emotionally, mentally and physically. With time, even the experienced people (the old people of the group) might started guiding the young ones, helping them to choose the right partner. Today also our elder help us to choose our partner.
About work division, they might felt the baby, need the mother always to drink milk and for other needs. Also it was difficult for woman to go out with the baby for hunting etc., so they might decided woman will stay at home and will take care of the baby and other work at home and man will go out for hunting to arrange food.
Its kind of same till date, I mean more than 80% women in the world, stays at home and take care of things and may be less than 20% women go out to earn for family.
Till now, I have covered how marriage might started and the soul purpose of it. It seems everything perfect till here, but in 21st century marriage is really difficult. It is used as a tool to fulfil people’s greed. Lots of fraud things happen everyday in the name of marriage. So, a few things we must know and follow :
(I) Let me tell you one Ground Rule that Marriage is a need for both boy and girl. No one is doing any favor on either of them by getting married. The Girl leaves the father’s house, just because its a tradition our ancestors started. It never mean, the girl’s father is not capable of taking care of his daughter for lifetime.
So, thinking that by marrying a girl, you are doing any favor on her is completely wrong. Never ever think that you are superior in any way because you will feed the girl for lifetime. Oh, Common her father is quite capable of feeding her for whole life, its just the tradition we all got to follow that’s why, the girl leave the father’s house and live with the boy and his family and she “Reproduce” there.
Therefore, if you are a boy or parent of a boy then never think that you are superior than the Girl or girl’s parent and start ridiculing her or her parent. Remember, your are not superior than her, so don’t start torturing her next day after marriage in the name of Religion or Tradition that your ancestors taught you this, which you will teach to the new bride.
She is just a small child, with no experience of life. Be her confidence than scaring her, she lived with her parents for long time and in a matter of day, you want her to forget everything they taught her and learn your ways, Why ? just because you are parent of a boy, so you are superior ? No, not at all. Marriage is a need for both Boy and Girl.
Even if you respect your tradition then you must learn to respect her tradition too. Give her time, space and respect, let her feel the connection with you. Once she feels connected, she herself will do everything without even you tell her, because that’s how love is, it want to see the people happy, whom you love. Don’t impose traditions or religions, it has to be accepted with one’s own heart. And when she does it, you will feel great, your spirit will go up.
(II) Don’t spend huge money on marriage or on marriage celebrations, because in 21st century marriage failure ratios are more than marriage success ratio. Rather complete the marriage formalities very simply with very less money.
After 5 years, if they both live happily, spend little more money by helping them to grow their family.
After 10 years spend rest of the money you wanted to spend on your child’s marriage to help them further to grow their family. This way chances of fraud or failure will be minimal or even if it fail, you can still try to get back your child’s life, as you will have cash in hand to help her.
(III) From the beginning of this age (कलयुग) Every person Love someone but might not get married to the one they love. Many people at time decide to live alone without getting married to someone else.
As per law in 21st Century, a person can marry only one person at a time, in case if they want to get marry to someone else, they need to get divorce from their current partner.
It is good to have one partner, but by any chance if someone love a married person and their feelings are true then they can talk to each other about their feelings and when everyone in the family agreed then get married.
Marriage is more of a commitment to live together, helping each other whole life. Its more of an obligation towards each other.
Century’s back, Kings used to have queens and they all used to live happily together, why can’t we ? Why do we need divorce or separation, if its about Love ? Love means union of soul, it can never demand someone’s separation.
When people would start thinking in this way, I hope 95% of divorces in world can be stopped. As, mostly people are fake these days with feeling. And in case they are asked to accept the whole family, they will run away. Only a few whose feelings are true, will marry the person they love with everything they have and such people definitely deserve to get love of the one they loved.