While traveling to Goa in November 2011, a sudden surge of questions flooded my mind :
What is love ?
Do we really experience genuine love for others?
How many of us are truly capable of loving someone?
Who can we love the most, etc.?
And the responses were as follows: During our teenage years, hormonal changes naturally draw us towards individuals of the opposite sex (excluding exceptions), and we tend to develop romantic feelings.
When we find someone who accepts us as their love, we experience unparalleled joy. We eagerly engage in endless conversations with our partner, constantly thinking about them. Every song feels like it reflects our own story. We even find ourselves conversing with the stars and the moon. Our life becomes filled with happiness.
During our teenage years, it is common to experience a unique feeling for the first time. I am certain that all of us have liked or loved someone during that phase, regardless of whether our feelings were reciprocated by our partner. At that time, we were still children, and as you know, children do everything with wholeheartedness. Therefore, our love or feelings towards someone were also genuine. We often claim that we can never forget our first love because it was a period of innocence, and our emotions were untainted. It was a time when we selflessly focused on our partner’s happiness and well-being, prioritizing them over ourselves.
When our emotions are directed towards others, they become truly genuine. I came across a quote a year ago that I would like to share with you: It is possible to give without love, but it is impossible to truly love without giving.
Have you observed your mother lately? Have you noticed her actions? She extends her affection to each one of you, be it your brother, sister, father, or anyone else. That is the embodiment of love. Now, let’s transition to the subsequent stage of life. What if you haven’t married your first partner? Or what if you ended your relationship with your significant other for any given cause?
As time passes and transitions occur from days to months and months to years, individuals mature into adults. Naturally, they seek a companion who can stand by their side, providing emotional support, fulfilling their sexual desires, and offering financial assistance. Consequently, during this phase, individuals often search for these attributes in their partners.
When you come across an individual who possesses the aforementioned qualities, you embrace them wholeheartedly and bestow upon them the title of Love in your life.
Do you genuinely feel a deep devotion for your partner (husband or wife) when you express your love to others? If so, why do you still harbor those conditions in your mind?
You claim to love someone, but the reality is that you require a person who can stand by you during times of failure. This individual should provide emotional support when you are emotionally shattered, whether it be due to struggles with your career, society, or your parents.
You tell, I love my significant other, but in reality, the need for sexual intimacy is what you refer to as love or simply label as being in a marital relationship.
Engaging in sexual activity is a natural bodily need and not inherently wrong. However, when it comes to genuine devotion towards someone, you may find that your query remains unanswered.
If you set conditions for love, it means your heart is not leading the way; your mind is. This often results in a lack of pure emotional connection, as we experienced in our first relationship during our teenage years.
I would like to pose a crucial inquiry to all of you: Many times, we claim to love our partners more than life itself. However, the reality is that nobody can love another person more than they love themselves. Frequently, we prioritize our own self-love above all else. How does this happen? The aforementioned reasons have already been provided.
When we truly love someone, it comes from the heart without any mental attachments or conditions. It means having no expectations, recognizing that even if we have feelings for our partner, it is not necessary for them to feel the same way in return or meet any other criteria. This is the essence of genuine feelings. An example of such love is the well-known love story of Mira and Krishna.
Why, I explained it to you ? Because, many people are simply part of the crowd, mindlessly imitating what they observe without truly understanding the essence of love.
Assuming a married woman gives birth to a child, either due to her own physical needs or societal expectations. She raises her child and once the child reaches adulthood, her role as a mother concludes. She hopes that her child will secure a good job and a good life so that she can also lead a comfortable old age.
In today’s times, many women choose not to breastfeed their babies due to concerns about maintaining their youth and figure. If they were not ready or prepared for childbirth, why did they choose to have a baby? Is it because they want to avoid the discomfort they experience during menstruation? By conceiving a child, are they attempting to temporarily alleviate their own pain? Alternatively, could it be that they fear being labeled as infertile by society if they do not give birth, suggesting their motivations are more about societal expectations than genuine concern for the baby?
One possible reason is delivering a baby due to frustration with your spouse’s actions, finding joy in witnessing your child’s smile and growth. This reality is prevalent in our country, particularly in arranged marriages where compatibility between partners is often lacking. Despite this, many couples choose to continue their marriage for the sake of parents, children, society, traditions, and other factors. The situation can be truly distressing.
How will you show love to your child when you have so many conditions in your mind?
Why did I use mother’s example? Because we think that only a mother truly loves her child unconditionally, but how many of them actually do?
Being a genuine mother is never a simple task. Merely giving birth to a child and raising them does not define motherhood. It encompasses much more than that (without delving into the spiritual aspect, it requires numerous acts of meditation and worship in order to truly embody motherhood, but I won’t delve into that now).
Just because I gave thought to an instance involving a woman, it doesn’t imply that men genuinely appreciate others. Women surpass men when it comes to displaying tenderness.
The reason I chose to consider mom’s example because I wanted to discuss the concept of Love, which is a pure and unconditional emotion that comes from the heart.
The majority of individuals simply conform to societal norms and adhere to the beliefs instilled in them from a young age. Consequently, this article, which delves into the concept of love and poses the question of its true nature, is not intended for such individuals, as they will continue to follow the established path they have been on.
This article is intended for individuals who have been actively experimenting with their lives and are curious about the concept of love. It aims to provide answers to their lingering questions and shed light on experiences that have remained uncertain thus far.
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